Of Mice and Monsters IV

maskofasociopath

Lots of people share things about each other with their partner as they go along in their relationship.  Once I had learned that he was a sexual sadist, I began asking him about it, particularly the origins of how this came to be.  I am inquisitive by nature, and he knew this.   “It”  came out of the closet along with a barrage of my questions.   Was he abused as a child?  Was he bullied?  Did he ever hurt animals?  Had he ever been arrested?  Had he ever set fires?  and so on.

He told me three stories.

In 6th grade a girl at his new school was bothering him.  She was a girl who stood with him at his bus stop and was repeatedly calling him names and making fun of him.  It is important to note that this man is 6′ 2″ tall when I was with him, so that by sixth grade it is likely he was fairly tall as well.  He said that he told her to stop a few times and when she didn’t he punched her square in the mouth.  This gave her a fat and bloody lip,  that she began crying and then ran away back home.  As he was telling the story he was smiling.  He was forced to apologize to her but he said he felt no remorse, he said she got what she deserved.  It’s pretty unusual for a boy to hit a girl at all, less so to punch, even less to target the face.

There was a kid in high school that was bullying him after school.   Waiting for him. Pushing him down, tripping him and hitting him whenever he got the chance.  This was and older kid.   He lived in a rural area with lots of fields and dirt roads.  After school one day he heard a crash and he ran out about a half mile behind his house to a massive field where kids used to race field cars.   There he came upon this boy who had bullied him.  He was in his field car he had been racing which had crashed into a tree head on and had burst into flames.   He said that he approached the car and realized that the kid was pinned behind the wheel.   The boy was screaming “help!”  “please help!!!”   But his pleas for help went unanswered.   My sadist boyfriend stood there motionless and watched as he burned to death.  He said” I have never heard screams like that before, he screamed for a long time.”  he told me.  He said his flesh first bubbled up and then melted off.

Now an adult and living in an apartment building, one night a cat was meowing and wouldn’t stop.   He told me it was bothering him, he couldn’t sleep.  So he got up and fashioned a garrote.  He dressed all in black and went outside and grabbed the cat.  He pulled the garrote around its neck and pulled as hard as he could.  He said that it began kicking and clawing in the air.  Then the cat lost control of its bladder and bowels, then it was lifeless.  The whole process was less than 3 minutes.   He took a plastic garbage bag and put its body in the trunk of his car and placed it the next day at his work in their dumpster.  He worked a major law firm.

At the conclusion of these stories it left me numb.  Who was sitting in front of me? Then I grew terrified.   After that passed,  I returned to logic.  There was no doubt in my mind I was not only involved with a sexual sadist but a man who had definite signs of sociopathy. Two thoughts converged, one, I am with a very dangerous and violent man and second, I desperately wanted to believe none of his stories were true.