It’s back….or maybe it never went away in the first place, perhaps I just buried it alive somewhere in my psyche and now it’s re-surfacing.
I find myself feeling so desperately alone. My man left, but even before he did. Lately it felt like he was a million miles away even while he was in the very same room .
I sometimes wonder if I am cursed. I have entertained that notion many times. Did I rape and pillage an entire town in some past life to deserve this kind of bad karma?
Am I some sort of devil spawn and not a child of God?
If I am a child of God, why does He permit me this continual emotional pain?
Did I somehow sign up for this shit in some cosmic time warp? and not read the fucked-up time warp fine print?
I wish this ache in me would go away. Death seems inviting when the pain reaches this high.