So many relationships I have tried to force a square peg into a round hole. I try to “fix” these men’s character flaws. This one over here is a serial philanderer. Rather than being accepting that is what he likes and letting him go to find someone who is accepting of that……I try to force monogamy on him.
Oh shit yeah, that really worked out well. My life became the fucking Nancy Drew mystery complete with collecting fiber evidence and trace DNA.
Another one is a compulsive liar. Instead of me realising that the man has covered his tracks since he was 5 years old gettin’ caught by his momma with his hand in the cookie jar, hell no! I go on a crusade to save him and re-teach him the Ten Commandments. Being Christian and all, thinking that a refresher in morality will “remind” him that lying is wrong.
and did it work? My friends, no it does not. It is exhaustive.
The lesson learned is that when you come across a romantic person of interest, and you see red flags-a-waving. The person’s morality differs from yours at a core level. You fucking run. You do not pass go, you do not collect your two hundred. You fucking run.
I have learned the problem is not with any man out there in the world
or their fucked up character flaws, the problem is with me. I need to keep the focus on me. Continue to work on MY character flaws. Healing my issues/demons/wounds et cetera. Getting this train wreck, back on track. If someone else wants to stay de-railed…..that is their own choice. I cannot afford any more drama or tears. I will look 90 by the time I am in my forties.
So if the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t use a shoe horn…… just walk on by.
But sadly I only seem to grasp this at an intellectual level so I am fated to repeat this shit again…..
Fun times ahead….