(stock image- not mine)
When a person puts down their drug of choice, they enter withdrawal.
Sometimes the drug is a chemical like alcohol, cocaine, heroin, nicotine.
Other times the drug may be a behavior like gambling, compulsive shopping, sex-addiction, anorexia, or relationships.
In my case, it is the latter.
Codependency is a form of addiction and is complex. The codependent has feelings of love for their person of affection, but also has hyper-dependency on that person which is extremely unhealthy and maladaptive. Sifting that out and sorting out how much is what, takes time and a lot of work. But the codependent does need to go through withdrawal. A period where they have no contact (NC) with their partner or person has become their drug of choice. That person, has become what the codependent uses as a salve to escape from pain and uncomfortable feelings, because they lack the ability to self-soothe. This usually is because most codependent come from trauma and denied the basic love and care they needed to learn how to self-soothe. So they turn to alcohol and drugs and eventually people/relationship(s) to feel better/okay.
A Recovery Partner passed this along to me last night and it blew me away because it totally spoke to a deep place within me when I heard it.
The experience is you… The experience is you a part of you which has been trying to surface for a long time. You have been avoiding or postponing this pain for a long time now, yet you have never been able to lastingly outrun it. You need to go through withdrawal in order to become a whole person. You need to meet your self. Behind the terror of what you fear, withdrawal contains the seeds of your wholeness. It must be experienced for you to realize, or make real, that potential for you and your life which has been stored there for so long.