Time for a good ole book burning on the village green

Shel Silverstein is hands down one of the best children’s authors ever.  I own just about everything he’s done in print; hard copy.   And I’m fairly certain that when my Zebra cake goggles wear off, the book will remain one of my favorites.

In light of the recent events of my train wreck love-life, I recently re-read “The Giving Tree.”

…..

…..

Can I just say that I HATE that tree.

“Take my apples.”

oh just plunder all my assets and leave me naked in the forest, boy.

“…you may cut off  my branches….”

Take a chain saw to my limbs and watch the sap run down as I bleed in agony….

“Cut down my trunk….”

Fuck me up the ass and leave me nothing but a stump for you to take a shit on…….

but I’ll still love you boy.

……

……

and then the tree waits and waits like a good empathic tree with no self-esteem does, and pretends to be happy being a used up stump.  and in the end ” the boy” comes back when he’s done using all the whores and he’s old and can’t fuck anymore and sits on the stump of a tree he’s used.   because she has no self-worth and wasted the best years of her life pining (no pun intended) for a boy who never loved her back.

The classic un-requited love story?

No, the classic romanticized portrayal of an EMPATH MARTYR-COMPLEX FUCKED UP WOMAN, POSING AS A TREE

I dunno, this post could be coming from a distorted perceptual lens  generated by marked glucose spikes from me consuming  a rather largish bag of M&M’s for lunch today and a couple of King-sized candy bars for dinner last night mixed with a Little Debbie Zebra cake.  It’s the Zebra Cake goggles isn’t it.  Or is it just another angry rant about getting conned by a sexual sadist narcissist with sociopathic tendencies.  Or do I just have an axe to grind with trees.

Someone either pass me the kerosene and a match or give me another fucking Zebra cake already.

Advertisements

4 responses to “Time for a good ole book burning on the village green

  1. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but your rant was FABULOUS!! Absolutely fabulous, it made me almost pee my pants with laughter! I’m still laughing,,, I think you go the extra special zebra cakes…and perhaps a sugar high…LOL

    back to the topic at hand I have the giving tree, and i think it’s a beautiful story about love and giving…(obviously, duh!) but I don’t Mr. Shel intended it to be like that…I look at it as more of a mother (motherearth) figure giving everything she had to her boy. I never say it as a romantic (sadistic or greedy, whore-loving-cheatin boy) I mean the poor boy cant fuck the tree right?!

    Try looking at in a new way….also I agree if the tree was a person and the boy was fucking around…then that would be a whole nother story….thanks for making me laugh with you unique outlook on things….have a great one! 🙂

    • I assure you I have the highest regard for Mr. Silverstein, it’s the Zebra cake goggles and my anger the was the incendiary device that sparked this post. Glad you laughed : – -)

      • Hilarious!! I can totally see your analogy! And I haven’t eaten any chocolate today or zebra cakes, but I sure would like to have a paIr of them zebra goggles.

        Good laugh thanks!
        Carrie

Go ahead, make my day :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s